


Chilled

by AzureKate



Series: Love of A Type Blue [4]
Category: Toward the Terra
Genre: Heartbreak, Jomy is crying harder than I did, M/M, One-Sided Love, Tony just doing his best, death of a soulmate, i'm not crying you're crying, sad fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 09:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15070409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzureKate/pseuds/AzureKate
Summary: Tony debates what he could do for Jomy to express his feelings. However, Jomy has never recovered from the death of Soldier Blue, and is not receptive to any of Tony’s attempts at romance. But Tony is determined to show Jomy how he feels.This was supposed to be my 2018 work for Valentine's Day, but then it ended up being super sad and I didn't finish it for a long time. But here it is, breaking hearts! I promise a fluffy one for 2019 Valentine's. I'M ONLY CRYING A LITTLE





	Chilled

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3JpIHtB2Ws&index=7&list=PL41K_J00Nc0zMLSK85UEyc5Rg97W0f5_9 Listened to this while writing, IT ENHANCES THE SAD

Tony was hunched over his paper, and had been for hours. His back was stiff, and his fingers were cramped around his pen. It was the late hours of the night, and Tony was beginning to drift away into sleep. He furiously shook himself awake, refusing to fall asleep until he finished his poem he was trying to write.

But no matter how long he stared at the sheet, he could _not_ think of _anything._

His mind was totally blank, and he was getting incredibly frustrated. He knew he wanted to do something to express his love and admiration, but maybe a poem wasn’t the right option. He had no idea he would struggle so much, and it was driving him crazy. Why was this so hard? He knew how he felt. Why couldn’t he express it?

His feelings for Jomy were surely true. It shouldn’t be this hard to put it into words.

He had been sure of his feelings for a while—since he had matured into his adult body, actually. After the exhilaration of the destruction of the Meggido, the first thing he felt in his matured body was a warmth blossom in his chest when he saw Jomy. A fellow Mu had tried to explain to Tony what the feeling was—he called it a crush. He then proceeded to explain the process of a crush evolving into love.

Tony, referencing this explanation of love, was fairly sure what he felt for Jomy was love.

There was something bothering him, though. He’d spent his whole life thus far with a generally-happy Jomy. He was beginning to learn from older Mus that even then, Jomy had his fair share of troubles trying to settle the disputes between young and old. But Tony had never seen him upset. That happy, loving Jomy was the Jomy that Tony loved. But after the destruction of the Meggido, Jomy was not the same. Something had changed in him. He never smiled anymore, and talked a lot less. He was also a lot harsher, and less accepting of people’s suggestions. He was irritable. Tony admired the authority Jomy was commanding from the Shangri La, but Jomy had visibly lost his happiness and that _upset_ Tony. He wanted to make Jomy happy again…he wanted to make things go back to the way they were before.

Tony had approached Physis one night and asked her what happened to Jomy; why he was suddenly so sad. Physis seemed distressed, and sadly answered him after some hesitation, “The person Jomy loves has died. He does not know how to cope.”

The words upset Tony for a while; Jomy loved someone already? And they had died? Tony knew that a lot of people died while the Meggido was attacking Naska, but Tony had no idea that Jomy had someone he loved. It made Tony’s heart tremble.

He went around the ship, aimlessly seeking someone to ask about it. He felt awkward inquiring around about Jomy’s love life, but he wanted to know. He found himself approaching Leo of all people, since he didn’t want to pester Physis any more.

 _What’s wrong, Tony?_ Leo asked through his telepathy.

“Physis told me that there was a person Jomy loved. Do you know who they were?”

Leo’s face told Tony everything he needed to know. Leo knew exactly who the person was, and had known, it seemed—and maybe had been close to—that person. Tony felt very much in the dark; how had he never known in all of his life that Jomy had been happily living with someone he loved? Maybe that’s why Jomy had been so happy before the attack of the Meggido; why he had been so happy all of Tony’s life.

 _You’re talking about Soldier Blue,_ Leo said. Tony was taken aback…a second Soldier? He had only ever known Soldier Jomy. Never once in his life, though it may be short, had he heard of a second Soldier.

“I don’t know who that is,” Tony said unhappily.

_I’m not surprised. The younger generation never knew him. He spent his power a long time ago and was in a coma for decades. Jomy watched over him every night for nearly his entire life on the Shangri La. Soldier Blue was the one who brought Jomy to us… He awakened when Universal Control attacked. He was the one who destroyed the Meggido, and he died doing so._

Tony’s eyes widened. He had believed it was Jomy who destroyed the Meggido. There was not only a second Soldier, but it was _that_ Soldier who destroyed the Meggido? Tony rubbed his head…he was beginning to get a headache.

“I had no idea about that. I thought Jomy destroyed it.”

Leo shook his head. _Jomy loved Blue very, very much. Now that Blue is gone, I don’t think Jomy knows what to do with himself. He’s heartbroken._

Tony went about trying to find ways to help cure Jomy of his heartbreak—to let Jomy know that there was still someone in the world that loved him. He had been leaving flowers and tiny handmade gifts outside Jomy’s room for days, hoping to cheer him up. But regardless of whether he paid attention simply through telepathy or actually hid around the corner to watch Jomy’s reaction, he never saw Jomy smile when he found the gifts. Jomy would just carry them back into his room, and then come back out and leave as though nothing had happened. And he never mentioned the gifts he found to Tony, even though Tony was trying to spend as much time around him as he could.

Deciding to go a bit farther, Tony asked some of his older friends for suggestions to express love. Someone suggested a romantic poem, and since he didn’t get anything else worthwhile, Tony had decided to do it, and sat down one night to try and write one.

Except it just wasn’t working.

 

_Jomy,_

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_I’m bad at poems,_

_I love you._

_Tony._

Tony tangled his gloved fingers into his curly pink hair with agony, mere seconds away from tearing the paper to shreds. He took a deep breath and stared at it. It was better than nothing…right? Surely even a badly written love poem would still get the message across.

Giving up on his chances of fixing it, Tony angrily folded the paper up and stood from his chair. A bad poem WAS better than nothing!

Even though it was very late, Tony set out from his room, determined to give it to Jomy right away and get the whole embarrassing ordeal over with. He walked quickly through the still halls of the Shangri La; he didn’t see anyone roaming about and assumed everyone had gone to bed. He was sure the ship’s bridge was still awake, but they were always hard at work—there was always _someone_ in there keeping the ship going straight, watching for enemies. Tony assumed they must stagger who went to bed at what time, so that the bridge was always at least mostly staffed.

Tony poked around a bit with his telepathy to feel if anyone was nearby, but all he felt were the peaceful dreams of the people in the bedrooms around the ship. No one seemed to be awake in the area he was passing through. He worked his way through the blue-hued halls to the door he knew led to Jomy’s room. Taking a deep breath to try and instill some kind of bravery within himself, he clutched the folded poem in one hand and raised the other to knock on the door.

“Jomy!” he called, knocking loudly. He wasn’t concerned with waking anyone else nearby, as Jomy’s room was quite deep in the ship and not too close to any other bedrooms. There was no reply to his knock. He knocked again, but there was nothing but silence. Curiously, he reached into the room with his telepathy—he was surprised to feel that Jomy wasn’t inside.

Though he had confirmed that his energy wasn’t in the room, Tony opened the door and peered inside. The bedroom was abandoned; the bed was neatly made and tucked, and the air was still. Disappointed, he closed the door and stood outside the hall tentatively. Where could he be? Tony was definitely going to deliver his letter tonight! In an attempt to find him, Tony spread his mind out over almost the entire Shangri La, seeking out the feeling of Jomy’s familiar energy.

In his sweep through the ship, Tony honed in on the energy he was seeking. He focused in on it, and realized it was quite close to the exact center of the ship, likely in the room at the very core.

A room he had never been inside.

He had overheard the room called the Blue Room, but Tony had never ventured inside. All throughout his childhood whenever he went onto the Shangri La from the surface of Naska, he could feel a warmth coming from within the distant room and hear an ambient ringing that was extremely comforting and relaxing. He had sometimes wanted to enter, but never had found the bravery to do so. He had seen Physis, Jomy, and Leo enter many times.

After thinking on it, he realized it _must_ have been the room the second Soldier had been living in. As the only room Tony had never entered, it was the only room the second Soldier could have been in for Tony never to have met or even seen him. And it actually made sense…the Blue Room was a perfect name for it, since Leo had told Tony that the second Soldier’s name was Blue.

Tony made his way slowly through the Shangri La toward the room in its heart. As he reached its door, he paused outside. He took a moment to feel the strange atmosphere around it; while he remembered a comforting ambience from his childhood, now that was gone. The air was uncomfortably still and stagnant. Tony shivered. The room seemed off. And that’s when it touched him…the feeling of despair.

It wasn’t his own. Tony embraced it with his telepathy and recognized the energy as Jomy’s. The feelings of sadness and agony were overwhelming, and tears touched Tony’s eyes. He grasped at his heart, feeling the sadness as though it was his own. He held the letter tightly, nearly crushing it in his fingers. He tried to control himself and tucked the letter into his pocket. Then, trying to be brave, he stepped inside the room.

The interior of the room was the most beautiful Tony had seen; he could hardly believe he’d never come inside before. It was completely dark and looked to Tony to be an abyss with no walls. However, there was a narrow walkway suspended above the darkness, extending from the door out to a platform in the center; on the platform, there was a large bed, engulfed by a peaceful blue glow. Tony gaped at the beauty, despite the sadness and still air filling the seemingly endless room.

Tony’s eyes focused in on the figure beside the bed. They were leaned over the bed, and their face was buried in their arms. Tony couldn’t see their face, but he knew who it was. It was Jomy. His cape looked somewhat purple in the blue glow of the room, but Tony had no doubts.

He was crumpled over the side of the bed sobbing.

Tony’s heart dropped into his stomach and stood still for a moment. He just watched. He could hear the quiet gasping coming from his Soldier and see his shoulders trembling. Tony twitched—should he leave? He wasn’t sure he was welcome to be watching this. Jomy was completely exposed. This was nothing like the cold, angry front he had been putting up. Tony had no idea Jomy was so _broken._

Finally, he decided against leaving. Tony wasn’t totally confident. Was this the kind of time Jomy needed someone to comfort him? Or was it the kind of time Jomy just needed to be alone?

Tony was going to find out.

Quietly and carefully, Tony stepped forward and went along the suspended walkway, making his way over to the platform. He stopped when he reached it and stared at Jomy’s back. Again, he doubted if he should be doing such a thing. But then, with a fit of bravery and love, he walked up to him. He reached out and placed his hand on Jomy’s trembling shoulder.

A shocked Jomy jerked away, standing and turning to face whoever had snuck up on him. His eyes were red, and his face was covered in tears.

“Tony!” he exclaimed. “Why are you in here?”

Tony detected anger in the tone of his voice. Maybe he had made a mistake.

“I felt your sadness,” Tony answered honestly. “I was worried about you, Grandpa…”

Whatever anger Jomy had been feeling faded away after hearing Tony’s heartfelt answer. His eyes brimmed over with even more tears, and he sat back down on the floor and covered his face. Tony awkwardly stood for a moment before sitting on the floor next to him.

“Why are you so sad?” Tony dared to ask.

“He deserved better!” Jomy sobbed. Tony knew he must have meant Blue. Seeing Jomy in such a state, and hearing about Blue, made Tony’s heart shatter into a million pieces.

“Is there anything I can do?” Tony asked, reaching out and holding onto Jomy’s arm. He hoped the touch would offer Jomy _some_ kind of comfort. It didn’t seem to calm Jomy’s cries, however. Jomy didn’t answer his question; he just continued to cry.

Taking a bigger leap, Tony moved closer and wrapped his arm around Jomy’s shoulders, pulling him over and holding him closely. Jomy leaned into his embrace and let all of his emotions out. Tony could tell that he must have been bottling them all up, concealing them from the other Mus. With his free hand, Tony reached up behind him and placed his hand on the soft blankets covering the bed. He poked at the bed curiously with his telepathy, feeling around for any remainder of energy from the person who had been sleeping there—from Blue, whom he had never met.

He was surprised to find energy lingering there. He wondered if Jomy could feel it. It was a very peaceful energy—very calm.

Tony gasped when a very quiet voice spoke into his mind, just barely audible. It sent a wave of chills over Tony’s body.

_Please… Take care of my Jomy._

As quickly as it had touched him, the energy which had washed over him vanished. Tony had never heard the voice before, nor did he recognize the energy. He realized…it must have been Blue. Tony looked at the sobbing Jomy and watched him. His heart softened a bit. He sat with Jomy for what felt like hours, listening to his cries until finally he calmed down.

“I’m here,” Tony assured him. “I’ll take care of you. I promise.” Jomy again didn’t reply. Tony stood, and helped Jomy up. Even once they were standing, Tony didn’t release his hold on Jomy. “Come on, Grandpa. Let’s go get some chocolate or something.”

He offered Jomy the warmest smile he could manage. Jomy looked at him for a moment, but then turned his head to stare at the bed. Carefully, Tony began to pull him away from the bed, leading him toward the walkway. Jomy didn’t struggle, and after watching the bed for a long moment, he finally turned away to walk with Tony. Tony glanced over his shoulder one final time himself.

He called out with his telepathy to the energy lingering over the bed, _Don’t worry, Blue. I’ll make him happy again. I will take care of him…I promise!_

Tony felt a touch of gratitude from the energy…and then it faded away.

A tear stung Tony’s eye when he thought about it. His mom had told him about stuff like this. He was _sure_ that he had been communicating with Blue’s soul, which was lingering around out of concern for Jomy. And now that Blue had found someone to take his place, he’d finally moved on.

Tony sniffled aggressively, then turned away to lead Jomy out of the room. He looked at Jomy’s tear-stained face and tried to smile. “Everything will be okay, Grandpa. I promise.”

Jomy finally met his eyes. “Thanks, Tony.”

When they neared the doorway to leave the Blue Room, Tony reached into his pocket and pulled out the folded paper. But instead of handing it to Jomy, he took a breath and tossed the paper off the side of the walkway, watching it flutter down into the dark abyss beneath them.

Eventually there would come a time to confess his love, but now wasn’t that time.

First, he needed to rebuild the beautiful, broken soul that he had fallen so deeply in love with.


End file.
